High School Survival Guide

"And now for something completely different"; namely, a post from Yours Truly that doesn't have to do with politics or wrestling! (1) 

Cue Joey Styles (2):

With the end of summer comes the renewal of a time-honored tradition; the resumption of classes at Fairfield Warde High School.  

The Warde campus can be a confusing place for newcomers. I know this first-hand, as I was a student there from 1997 to 2000 (at the time, the building was called Fairfield High School).  

As such, and for the benefit of the latest herd of Mustangs, I'd like to share a few tips from my experiences at the school. If you will, you may call this a "survival guide" of sorts.  

First, know the lay of the land, and where things are in the building.  

Trust me when I tell you that nobody likes it when someone shows up late for class, students included. You can avoid this "pain in the neck" scenario by knowing where key classrooms are, as well as the library and lecture hall.  

Also, seeing that the campus is quite large, allow yourself time to get from one side of it to the other.

Second, know what is and is not considered acceptable, clothing-wise. 

For example, wearing a shirt that depicts the usage of drugs or alcohol will meet with a stern reprimand (and likely, an order to "turn it inside out"). This also goes for product endorsements of the like, such as apparel which features the Budweiser logo.  

Third, be on time for class. 

As I previously mentioned, teachers hate it when you show up after the bell rings. If there was ever a good way to earn a trip to the house office and/or detention, this is it!

Next, don't wander around in the halls, even if you don't have a class at the present time. When I was a student, juniors and seniors could leave campus after their last class. I am uncertain whether this privilege is still granted. 

In any case, during the school day, you need to be somewhere and doing something at all times. Not doing so will get you asked "where are you supposed to be?", along with a decent tongue-lashing.

Fourth, know about the "five-minute rule". 

 

This is an unwritten rule that stipulates the following; in the event that a teacher is at least five minutes late for class, and there is no substitute teacher available, students in such class may take the period off.

 

Note that again, I refer to my own high school experience; this guideline may no longer apply.  

Now, some advice for incoming freshmen; watch your back, especially on Fridays!

Often, you'll run into people who do things like intentionally cause you to drop your books, or try to bully you in various ways. That's not to say that all students are like this; some of them can be very kind and helpful. 

Nevertheless, until you get your footing, you'll find that somebody always wants to start something. The trick is to stand up for yourself; that way, you'll find it less likely that others will mess with you.

As for Fridays, "if you know, you know"!  

Finally, enjoy this time to the fullest. 

They say that time waits for no one; indeed, all good things must someday come to an end. So it is with youth; before you know it, you'll be forty-something, and wondering where all that time went.  

Accordingly, take in the entire experience; the football games, the pep rallies, the homecoming dances, everything. Soon enough, it will be nothing but a memory.

And in a closing note, remember these words:

"And this above all, to thine own self be true" (3).

Sources:

1. Quote from "Monty Python's Flying Circus".

2. “Joey Styles - OH MY GOD!!! (SOUND EFFECT).” YouTube, uploaded by undefined [InsaneWorldWrestlingV2], 21 Feb. 2015, www.youtube.com/watch?v=kdnlahvKKhM. Accessed 25 Aug. 2023.

3. Hamlet, Act I, Scene 3; as written on a mural near the Warde auditorium.