"Every time I think of you, I always catch my breath" -- John Waite, "Missing You" (1)
Here we go again; the valentine's day blues have hit me, and pretty hard at that.
I've written at length about how my heart has been broken by a certain female. It isn't totally necessary to rehash that story; I'll simply say that right now, I'm feeling the hurt and the pain that goes along with it.
Perhaps I'm locked into bit of a vicious cycle. I know I have to let this girl go. Nevertheless, as the saying goes, "the devil is in the details".
You see, every time I think I'm finally and completely over her, something happens that gets me to miss her again. Maybe it's being alone on a cold and snowy winter's night. Perhaps it's hearing my friends talk about their families, and how lucky they are to be with their partners. Or maybe it's seeing or hearing from someone who looks like her.
Whatever it is, it triggers those old feelings again. That's something that I've never been able to shake.
And not knowing why is the worst part.
I've always wanted to ask her why she rejected me; not out of some great desire to fix the issue, but out of a need for closure. Even so, I've kept my mouth shut, feeling that it's probably none of my business anyway. It just so happens that today, that "need to know" has manifested itself more than it ever has before. I guess that could be a valentine's day thing, or possibly have to do with the time of the season.
Regardless of what the reason behind my needing to know why might be, this is a question that torments my very soul. Be that as it may, perhaps someday I will have the closure that I've sought for so long.
Until then....
...I'll pull through, because I have to.
Happy Valentine's Day to all.
Source:
1. Waite, John. "Missing You." No Brakes. EMI America/Universal Music Group, 1984.
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